ultimately masculine

Part III: True masculinity and Freedom

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”
Albert Camus

We live in the best of times, and the worst of times. We have unprecedented technology that allows anybody to communicate with the whole planet at once. We regularly travel in space. We have tools for unlimited creative expression.  Quiet, hidden tyrants destroy our currency via their selfish designs and rob us of our quality of life. Massive corporations conspire with government to create policies that drive profit, rather than the public good. Needless wars are waged, innocent life is snuffed out daily in our movie theaters and abroad in nations we rarely think about.

Tyranny and destruction are not carried out by evil men.

Tyrants, thieves and murderers are 7 year old boys that never learned to accept themselves.

A failure to accept one’s self fuels an addiction to the approval of others.

Addiction to the approval of others fuels tyranny, thievery, and murder.

While everyone is scurrying around trying to figure out what laws can be written to prevent the next bad thing from happening, I want to take a different approach.   I believe that if we are going to save the world, we must first fix our men. 

Broken men attract broken women and raise broken baby boys and broken baby girls.

A healthy man will attract a healthy woman. They will raise healthy kids, who will therefore be more likely to perpetuate the cycle of  attracting a healthy mate and raising even more healthy children.

Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

– Tyler Durden, “Fight Club”

In Part I of this series, I shared a story with you that challenged notions of sexuality by introducing you someone that has truly liberated himself to live on his own terms. 

In Part II, I showed you a guy who unabashedly dresses like a woman, and has clearly transcended the opinions of others. 

I realize this might look like I’m trying to say something.  Maybe it looks like I’m pushing an LBGTQ agenda. This really has nothing to do with sexuality, fashion, queerness, etc.  This is about cutting the bullshit and being honest with yourself. This is about you and I being a better man, NOW. 

“The way of the superior man is about giving. It’s about giving who you are to the world, and it’s about giving yourself more and more deeply to the world, to your woman, to your family, to everyone.”  – David Deida, “The Way Of The Superior Man”

If you are going to live your life to the fullest extent, you’ve got to identify what your gifts are.  In every journey to make your gifts into reality,  to build that castle, if you will, there are HUGE obstacles, one of which is the feeling that other people think you are bat shit crazy. Every great hero story includes this  part.  Yours will, too.

Independence from the approval of others is the essence of masculinity.

One of the peculiarities of my life is that I like to dress differently. This is just an outward expression of a complex inner world that I live in.  It’s the place I create from.  It’s also an outward expression of my independence from the opinions of others, which is VITAL to any creative process.  When I leave the house rocking the heels, hosiery, and a skirt, I’m lovingly giving the whole word the middle finger and saying, “With all due respect, fuck you all.  I’m living on my own terms, whether you like it or not”. As one of my dear friends put it, “You are defining what it means to be masculine in your own life”. 

So, to sum things up:  The time has come to stand up and be better men.  We need to shed our addiction to the approval of others.  Take some chances.  Find the edge of your personal cliff and stand on the very edge of it.  Take notes on what scares the shit out  of you.  This might be a clue as to where your personal genius is buried, and what steps you must take next. It doesn’t matter so much WHAT your gift is, what’s important is that you make the very most of it.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”– Marianne Williamson

The world world we currently live in is a heavily guarded concentration camp. The term “concentration camp” is so perfect, there are so many forces that work to keep us concentrating on things that will render us flaccid, ineffectual males.   As a freedom loving person in this world, it is your job to find an escape route for yourself.  As a man in this world, it is your mandate to show that hole in the fence to as many people as possible, through your own example. 

Let the liberation begin.

P.S. If you are a guy in the Salt Lake City area that is interested in kicking fear’s ass and learning to be a better man along with other like minded guys, come visit this site for a minute.