A woman’s view on men in hosiery by Nohealani

Whenever I go out in public dressed up in pantyhose & heels, people ask me questions about it.   People wonder if I’m gay or straight, people wonder how it affects my success with women.  Hell, that was one of the most commanding questions of my youth and 20’s:  If I let this cat out of the bag, what would women think of me?  Would I ever be able to get a date, let alone have a relationship or get married?  Much of my intellectual development is due to wrestling with this question. The bottom line, is that everyone is wondering what women think of it.

Today’s post is a guest feature by a woman sharing her perspective on it.  It’s a fascinating read… she talks about it from a fashion, fetish, and relationship perspective.  She gets to the heart of the matter in a rare way.

Nohealani’s article:

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“Are there women who like men in pantyhose?”

I will attempt to explain my thoughts on the subject. Obviously, I do not speak for all women. However, pantyhose issue aside, I believe that what I have to say may give a very generalized understanding of what women see in a man–pantyhose or not.

Do I like men in pantyhose? Before I answer that, I want to make clear
that for the few of us women that actually like pantyhose, our reasons are probably very different from the reasons men may like to wear them.

I consider myself to be very perceptive. From what I have gathered in the months that I have been here (and elswhere), it appears that many pantyhose-wearing men wear pantyhose for one or more of the following reasons (excluding any medical reasons):

  • It is a fetish
  • There is some sort of thrill to wearing them in public
  • It is one element of a broader desire to crossdress

Do any of those reasons sound familiar?

I can’t pretend to understand the psychology behind those reasons. However, if it satisfies a certain need, and doesn’t harm anyone, I don’t think it’s bad for a man to wear pantyhose.

So, do I like men in pantyhose?

I debated whether or not to touch this subject. It is not important to reveal what prompted this to become a blog topic. Suffice it to say, I have decided to air my thoughts on the matter because I think it may help some men understand, in some small way, what makes me tick. I think this would also be a good opportunity for me to give some gentle fashion advice to men who may be considering wearing pantyhose publicly.

Those who have read my humble words here on EP already know that I like to wear pantyhose. With that in mind, what I have to say regarding men in pantyhose may surprise you.

I mentioned what I perceive to be the reasons why men like to wear pantyhose are, because I think many pantyhose-wearing men would like to fantasize that women who enjoy pantyhose themselves are somehow “turned on” by the sight of a man in pantyhose. While there may be women like that out there, in my humble opinion, such women are exceedingly rare.

Understand that there is a distinction here between women who are genuinely “turned on,” and women who lovingly accept and indulge their pantyhose-wearing husbands or boyfriends.

It is true that I love pantyhose. But in general, I wouldn’t be “turned on” by seeing a man openly wearing pantyhose in public; it is neither a “turn on” nor a “turn off” in and of itself. If a man were to openly wear pantyhose in public, I would hope that in doing so, such a man isn’t being daft about the look he is trying to achieve. I’m not talking about men who publicly wear pantyhose for shock value, or those who deliberately try to elicit a reaction from other people. I’m talking about men who try to wear pantyhose as part of their normal clothing.

Where I live, I personally haven’t seen any men openly wearing pantyhose in public. I’m not saying there’s anything good or bad about that; it just happens to be the demographic here. This doesn’t necessarily mean that men here don’t wear pantyhose; if they do, it’s probably under their regular clothing, so I would never notice.

However, if I were to come across a man openly wearing pantyhose, how would I react? To be honest, it’s hard to say without ever having confronted such a situation. I imagine I’d probably have mixed feelings about it. The issue isn’t whether or not a man enjoys wearing pantyhose–some men just do. I get that. And, I’d assume it would be for one of the reasons I mentioned previously. I have no problem with the fact that some men like to wear pantyhose.

The real issue for me would probably be that in most cases, it would probably look very odd. From what I gather, it seems to me that many pantyhose-wearing men would like to just throw on a pair of pantyhose, throw on a skirt or some shorts, go walking down the street, and be accepted by everybody.

Understand that most people would be put off by the sight of a man in pantyhose; putting little thought into one’s overall appearance would only serve to further drive public consensus toward the negative. My hope for men who would openly wear pantyhose is that they not get so caught up in the thrill that they lose sight of their overall look. Done smartly, properly shaved, and with great care and coordination, I do believe it is possible for a man to achieve a stylish look with fashionable hosiery. If a man wishes to openly wear pantyhose in public, I feel that he is obliged to show some class and sensibility when assembling his outfit.

Why such a high standard for men? Because there is basically no paradigm for such accessorization for men. I instinctively know how to coordinate pantyhose with my own outfits. In contrast, I have no point of reference when it comes to incorporating pantyhose into men’s daily attire. I do have a general idea of what might look good or bad. Even so, it is hard to say without actually seeing it in practice. Thus, I feel the safest place to start in terms of attire would have to be the most conservative.

As I’ve said before, I have no problem with the fact that a man might want to wear pantyhose. But if he is going to wear them in an unfashionable manner while in public, I have no desire to see it. Mind you, the same goes for women, as they are sometimes just as guilty. (In fact, some women may be even worse–since they are women, they think they can get away with anything.) The point here is that I just don’t care to observe pantyhose (or any other) fashion blunders–in men or women–because it demonstrates a lack of care or self-awareness in one’s personal appearance.

Fashion considerations aside, I am sure that some men would have great legs in pantyhose. But as I have mentioned earlier, the wearing of pantyhose in and of itself is neither a “turn on” nor a “turn off.” In my view, a man’s attractiveness inherently exists within him regardless of what he is wearing. If I find a man appealing, it’s not just because he’s dressed a certain way. A man’s personality, sensitivity, intelligence, and god-given appearance are what make him attractive. Clothing can enhance a man’s appeal, but will never form the basis for it.

It is probably no surprise that, yes, my husband does wear pantyhose. I will only reveal that:

  • I accept and love him completely
  • We thoroughly enjoy the time we spend together in pantyhose
  • His only desire is to wear pantyhose; he is not a full-blown cross dresser
  • He does not wear pantyhose openly in public; they are always hidden beneath his regular clothing
  • He is very considerate; he doesn’t allow pantyhose to dominate his mood or thoughts, and understands that sometimes it’s better to leave them aside

The remaining details of our relationship are not relevant to this discussion.

I mentioned my husband because there is a certain duality with my attitude towards pantyhose-wearing men. Do I find my husband appealing? Definitely. Even in pantyhose? Yes, but not because he is wearing pantyhose. I find him very sexy, but it’s everything about him, not the fact that he wears a certain piece of clothing.

True, I happen to think my husband looks really good in pantyhose. Of course, since he doesn’t wear them openly, he doesn’t need to match them with his outfits. Thus, in the privacy of our own home, he looks good in virtually any kind of pantyhose.

Admittedly, I am sure a lot of my biased perception stems from the immense love we have for each other. So, is this a double standard? Absolutely not! It is completely natural to be wholly enamored with the one you love. Traits that you look upon with ambivalence in other people are seen under a very different light with your loved one. That is the nature of love; it cannot be rationalized. If you truly love your partner, you will know exactly what I am talking about.

And, if you are completely committed to your spouse, nobody will light your fire in quite the same way that he or she does. I admit that sometimes, other “handsome” men may catch my eye; but that’s all they are–eye candy. The only man that “does it” for me is my man–whether or not he is in pantyhose.

On a final note, I must point out to pantyhose-wearing men who have accepting wives that there is a difference between loving your wife, and loving your wife because she wears pantyhose or accepts your wearing of pantyhose. This is something I hope to address in a future post.

– Nohea

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Nohealani’s original post can be seen here: http://nohealani.blogs.experienceproject.com/672008.html

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  1. My wife knew I was a crossdresser when we were married. She does not participate or encourage me in any way. I keep my body and legs smooth shaven, and would love for my wife to encourage, even better, order me to wear sheer nylons on a regular basis, seeing as I keep my legs so feminine. She could even tease me about my crossdressing, and call me her feminine ” bitch husband”. Thus; I would enjoy a dominant side to her nature. Also; I’ve always had thoughts and fantasies of her openly flirting with other men, even having an intimate relationship with another man. She would have my encouragement and support. I’ve had these thoughts and feelings since before we were married, but could never tell her, as I didn’t want her to think I didn’t love her, and didn’t think she could be open-minded and accepting enough to include it in our marriage. Maybe; too little; too late.

  2. In my view of things, it isn’t always something just black and white. I am a male aged 40 and with a beautiful wife which I love not because she wears pantyhose nor because she accepts me to wear them.

    The gray areas that triggers most of my anxiety are related about the impact it does when it isn’t something isolated or to remain private. I’ve been told in many occasions that I have very beautiful, feminine legs. With that I wear carefully my clothes and I like to expose myself normally like any other women would by wearing pantyhose.

    What stressed me out is the thought of having this “fetish”/”cross dressing” impacting my work or her work. Also our family because many wouldn’t accept that and it would cause a world of pain and may even destroy what we have. Like I said, this anxiety that I have is due to the fear and problems it can trigger of me wearing pantyhose publicly.

    I feel like I am slip in two, forever stop it wearing pantyhose, heels… etc. (which will properly not happen) or go on but with limitations due to what it can cause around us. I’ll remain a man and not change any parts of me but how can just accept remaining between four walls when I want to feel the air on my legs wearing sheer pantyhose with cute ballet/flats shoes?

    The moment I were to really walk out again out, I get people looking if I were a freak or not normal and I cross my finger I do not see a co-worker if not that would be the end. What do I do at that moment?

    I feel stuck and for fashion, I wear clothes that looks good and I keep clean. It just hard to deal with who you are and how people look at you. I feel imprisoned by what I like and unfortunately this and all that I’ve said triggers sadness and anxiety.

    I wish too that I could wear normal what woman wear or that “fits” me well because I am not looking at being seen but to be free for who I am. I love my wife and I know does everything to help me in my fetish pantyhose world. I just hope I am not causing too much stress and I worry.

  3. wearing as fashion is great even though I do wear openly nor do I dress like a woman openly now if it wasn’t for public ridicule I would wear openly with shorts. I judge no one for their lifestyle for who’s to judge. Pantyhose and tights are great for anyone with legs plus the benefits

  4. This information didn’t just help, it relaxed and relieved very much about the effects and outcome of wearing hosiery in different environments. Thanks.

    1. Thank you also. I just feel relaxed from the comfort and feeling. The pressure it gives to the legs sometimes can be so relieving also. This site is already fun. I’m very glad I accidently found it.

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