*** EDITOR’S NOTE ***
I wrote the following post on a whim. I was short on sleep, patience, and… lots of things. I have since discovered some remarkable women on said dating website. I may even have a lunch date coming up with one of them. Many beautiful, interesting, seemingly compelling women out there. The real problem, it turns out, is me. I wink, I email, I etc, etc etc…. and I can scarcely get the time of day from any of them. I know, many of you will read the following post and say,
“Well, obviously, it’s because you are a shallow jerk”.
I know that about myself already.
That has never stopped a guy from dating interesting women. I see it all the time.
I digress. Rather than remove this post, I decided to leave it up. There is part of me in it. There is something real about it, and, real is good. Just know that I’ve had a slice of humble pie and things are better now.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Okay. So you know how dating sites have quizzes that you take in order for them to better match you up to other members?
WHY IS IT THAT AFTER I TAKE THE QUIZZES, THEY START THROWING THE FUCKING UGLIEST GIRLS ON THE WHOLE INTERNET AT ME???????
WHAT THE FUCK????
It just happened AGAIN. When I signed on to Match.com last night, I was very impressed at all of the really pretty girls that were coming up.
I took the initial quiz.
AND WOULDN’T YOU KNOW IT…. it was like a god damn Miss Homely America pageant on my screen!
FUCK this shit! HONESTLY!
Ok Cupid is just as offensive to me. I swear my other friends get interesting, hot women suggested to them as matches. BUT NOOOOO…… not me.
Look, I might seem like a kind, tolerant, open minded guy who can love a woman for who she is on the inside, BUT I’M NOT.
I AM A SHALLOW, HORNY, VISUALLY STIMULATED MAN. HOW CAN I COMMUNICATE THIS TO THESE FUCKING RETARDED ASS WEBSITES??????
Look, I know some of you may be saying, “Well, Paul, you aren’t exactly Tom Cruise yourself…”
FUCK YOU. I have dated gorgeous women. Chances are, my ex girlfriends are FAR hotter than you, or if you are a guy, any girl you’ve ever been with. The question is no longer “can I get a hot girl”, the question is, “where is the next one”.
Okay. I’ll calm down and be honest. I really do want to date women who have brains, heart and soul. AND HOTNESS.
That’s all I’ve got for now.