The Secret Life of A Caboose

Paul Duane: Hey there Caboose, thanks for taking a minute out of your busy schedule for an interview.

Caboose: Make it quick, will ya? I’m pretty sure that they are coming for me soon. You know that Cabooses are coming back into vogue in the rail road world, right?

PD: I had no idea.

C: Sure as shootin’. All those hipster railroad engineers are wanting to go old school again.

PD: But I thought that technological advances like EOT’s and lineside detectors made Cabooses irrelevant.

C: Who you callin’ irrelevant, kid?

PD: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it quite like that, I mean, I hear that they still use Cabooses on smaller local rail lines and when transporting hazardous waste…

C: So you’re saying all I’m good for these days is transportin’ dangerous garbage?

PD: No, I didn’t mean it like that, either. I’m sorry.  How are things with the ladies these days?

C: Well, I’m fixin’ to find out soon. I hear those hipster girls these days love a man with tattoos and experience. Have you seen all of the ink I’m sportin’ recently?

PD: I thought that was just graffitti…

C: You and your thinkin’ are the kind of thing that let them pinko-commies into the great U-S-of-A back in the 50’s.

PD: I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean for this to become a political debate.   How are you enjoying your stay here in Salt Lake City?

C: It’s an okay town, though I’m antsy to get on to Denver and Duluth by way of the Rio Grande railroad. They should be coming by any time to pick me up, have you seen them yet?

PD: No, this is Union Pacific territory, we never see Rio Grande around here.

C: Well that’s hogwash.

PD: Did you see the new Superman movie? What did you think?

C: I think Christopher Reeve does a fine job with that role, though I’ve often thought of movin’ to Hollywood myself to give actin’ a shot. I always thought I had a bit of the silver screen in me.

PD: Uh… Christopher Reeve died 9 years ago, and had been a quadriplegic for 9 years before that…

C: I don’t think them handicap jokes are funny, mister.

PD: No, no… I didn’t mean it like that… it’s just that there’s a new movie with Henry Cavill, it’s called Man of Steel, it’s getting great reviews…

C: Well, you best be gettin’. I’ve got to get ready for that train to come pick me up.  Should be here any minute.


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