Helping The Retarded To Know God

This is for real:

“Helping the retarded to know God;: A guide for Christian teachers of the mentally handicapped (Concordia leadership training series) ” Get your copy today at Amazon:


I wonder how difficult it is to get “the retarded” to believe teach “the retarded” biblical truths, like: 

  • Cramming 2 of every non-swimming species of animal and insect into a big boat, and keeping them alive for 40 days, and then somehow being able to re-populate the whole entire planet with animals and insects with the kind of biodiversity we see today, in just a few thousand years, because a “loving Father in Heaven” decided to drown everyone and everything, including the children of all the sinning parents.
  • This abusive monster that destroyed all of the innocent children by drowning, then changed the physical properties of water and light, such that refraction occurred post flood, and thus pretty rainbows were invented, as a sign that our loving Father in Heaven wouldn’t ever drown us all again.
  • Spoiler alert, if you haven’t gotten to the end of the book yet:  Our loving father in heaven will set most of us on fire and kill us that way, including all of the innocent children (and non christian retards! ) instead of drowning us again.
  • Mary was a virgin.  Well actually, “the retarded” may not understand where babies come from in the first place, so this book may get a free pass on this piece of doctrine.
  • Jesus fed 5000 people with a few loaves and fishes.  Jews eating bread and fish? Come on. Bagels and lox.  Biggest bagel run in history, maybe.
  • That God did surgery on Adam in the Garden of Eden, pulled out a rib, and made a whole woman out of it, just so he could have a buddy to get in trouble with, to the detriment of all of human kind. 






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