“Why is he so hard on himself?”
“He shouldn’t be so negative”
“You need to be more vulnerable, show us your inner struggle!”
“I was surprised to see how insecure you are”
“You are so confident”
“You have no idea about how other people see you”
“Can I get garlic fries with that?”
I was listening to some of this feedback recently, and I just started laughing. Yeah, some of what they are saying is true, but there’s soooo much more to my life than what they are seeing. This includes you. Yeah. YOU. The one reading this blog. You may make some assumptions about what my life is like because I seem to just “put it all out there”. On any given day, I could write about 2 dozen topics that are very relevant, but there’s just not time for that. The things I choose NOT to write about probably say more about who I am, than the one thing I DO choose to write about each day. Unfortunately, there’s really no way to present that shadow side of the story. It has been interesting to listen to this feedback. I’m a big believer in getting constructive feedback from trusted sources. Such people are invaluable mirrors. And then it hit me that these sources of feedback are just like the rear view mirrors in a car…
Consider that. Your friends can only give you feedback based on what you show them, what you point them at. Whatever you don’t point them out, constitutes a huge blind spot. It becomes your responsibility to turn your head around a bit, and check those blind spots yourself, before you make a decision to change direction.
Mirrors are INVALUABLE. You would be hard pressed to avoid accidents without them. Your own vision is the most important guidance of all.
To take this back to a personal note… I definitely have a vibrant dual nature. There is a light side of me that is confident, abundant, and strong. It is fully stocked with love and passion. This part of me is totally certain that if I stay connected to my intuition and do the work, that my life will amount to something truly extraordinary. I also have a dark side. This part of my nature questions my motives. It echoes the indifference of my mother, the teasing I endured from adults and kids alike during my youth. It is full of doubt and pain. I draw on the dark side a lot in my blog posts and my stand up comedy routines. Learning to love my past (and the pain in it) is one of the spiritual lessons I’m trying to learn at this point in my life.
SO… the moral of the story today is…
Choose your mirrors carefully. They can save your life. Also be aware of what you have pointed them at, so that you can pay special attention to the things that they don’t have a view of.