gentle melancholy

….it’s the kind of thing that reminds you that you’re alive:

There’s a girl I’ve been hanging out with for many months now. I’ve liked her quite a lot this whole time. Yes, she’s breathtakingly beautiful, but there’s something else about her that is more enduring. She’s a seeker. She’s a cycle breaker. She’s got a determined and independent spirit… yes, she’s a little bit crazy, and that’s okay.  We went out for drinks tonight, as we often do.

She told me that she has, essentially, a boyfriend.

I wasn’t totally shocked – she’s always got a handful of hot guys orbiting around her.

I was a little bummed out though…

there was a part of me that liked her more than just another gal – pal.

And so, I come home tonight with a dulled buzz, a slightly broken edge. ..

It’s been a long time since I liked someone enough to be bummed out – and somewhere in the gentle melancholy, is swirled in a bit of happiness that I’ve found evidence of my heart being alive still.

It’s not a huge deal. We are still great friends.

I was honest with her about how I felt.

I looked her in the eyes and told her why she’s beautiful to me.

I spoke my truth, and that is my salve.

See you on the other side, my friend.


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