Part I: The Dilemma
Suppose you were at a party: It’s being hosted by a friend of a friend, and the host is very well connected in the realm of fashion. Lots of his friends are film industry people, models, and jet setting professionals with careers of distinction. Parties like this have an uncanny way of attracting truly outstanding women. You pick up a glass of chardonnay and wonder how you ever stumbled into the gold at the end of the rainbow. As you are reaching over to sample the foie gras, a clumsy thing happens… you and one other person are reaching for the same piece at the same time. You look up, and meet the eyes of a truly phenomenal blonde. You stumble for a few words, and pretty soon, the two of you are in a conversation. There is definitely some attraction sparking between you two. Introductions are made, smiles abound, and you two find a corner and start chatting. Soon you discover that your new friend, Niclolle, is a model. iPhones come out, pictures are shown:
Have you ever dated anyone this hot before?
The pictures continue. Obviously Nicolle is very accomplished. There is some obvious chemistry happening, She is totally into you. You usually don’t date girls as high profile as this, but she is convinced that you are all kinds of charming. Pretty soon another photo comes out…
…confirming what you already had surmised: no real breasts to speak of. That’s okay, because the ballerina you dated last year also had absolutely zero boobs, and she was HOT as hell. Yes, you like breasts on women, but you also don’t discriminate against otherwise very gorgeous women. The conversation continues. Another hot blonde girl walks past, pauses for a moment, and…
…your conversation pauses while Nicolle shares a spontaneous, and sensual kiss with this other girl whom you have not met yet. They’ve obviously done this before, and it’s incredibly sexy. It doesn’t’ last long, she moves on her way, and Nicolle’s attention returns to you. She looks at you with a look that says, “You like that, huh? Well, you are next…” The “kiss me now” look is thick in the air. This is not your first rodeo, so you move in for the kiss. It’s amazing and unusually sensual. The kisses grow deeper and more fascinating. Your mind is racing… what if, WHAT IF you could find yourself in a situation with Nicolle and that other girl?
No matter, even if it’s just you and Nicolle, this will be a glorious night. Hands start wandering. Heart rates are steadily increasing. Blood is pumping everywhere it should. You find a secluded place, and matters continue to escalate. Hands tug at buttons longingly, thought not quite unbuttoning them. Both of your minds are imagining the possibilities. As your hand runs up her leg, the excitement builds…
…and while you are deeply kissing and caressing her, your hand travels up her leg, up her thigh, as high as your hand can go… and you discover….
Nicolle is a boy.
Time freezes. Every assumption you had about yourself as a man has just been called into question. A sexual people’s court, of sorts, is immediately called into session in your brain. You are on the witness stand, being vigorously cross examined by an attorney that acts as if he SAW you commit the crime, and is weaving a trap of words for you to fall into before the judge. Time is still basically frozen… you are in the midst of a kiss that you were going to label amazing. That kiss has given you a very solid, anxious erection, but this discovery has given you pause. The temporary freeze in the space time continuum is about to wear off, and you are about to emerge out of this frozen second. What are you going to do?
But wait! Nicolle was the hottest “girl” at the party, remember?
So there you are, caught in this split second: lips pressed together, hands in very intimate places, discovering things you had never even thought possible.
What are you going to do next?
You can keep that answer to yourself. Nobody needs to know, except for you. It might be worth thinking about, though… you never know when you might find yourself in this very situation.
So here’s the deal. This story is hypothetical (though it could happen to you someday).
These photos are real. They are of a model named Andrej Pejic *. HE is a 20 year old model, born in Bosnia /Herzegovina, and raised in Australia. He has been taking the fashion world by storm with his boundary crushing take on androgyny. One of the things I love about Andrej is his ability to cause you and I, the “straight male”, to ask some questions.
“You cannot make a revolution with silk gloves.”
– Joseph Stalin
Stalin never did meet Andrej.
You, my presumed straight reader, just thought some things you didn’t expect to think, didn’t you?
That is the essence of the revolutionary: causing the ordinary to think of something extraordinary. Something bigger than one’s self. Something outside of one’s normal point of view. That is the first step in making important societal changes. Andrej Pejic’s level of self acceptance and self actualization is far beyond what most mortals will ever experience. Self acceptance and the courage to live authentically are traits that would transform the world. Wars and high crimes are not fought by tyrants. Crimes against humanity are carried out by 4 year old boys that didn’t learn to share… that didn’t learn self esteem… that didn’t learn that it’s okay to color outside of the lines.
Andrej Pejic is a 21st century bad ass. He has taken the rules and not just ignored them, he’s smashed them across the forehead of our collective consciousness. This is war, and it’s never looked so good.
* [For the sake of responsible publishing, this story did not actually happen with Andrej Pejic. His photos are being used to illustrate this piece, none of which is intended to make any implications about Pejic or the events of his life] .
Check out Part II: A Different World
The law of unintended consequences just punched me in the stomach. I am a woman and thought Andrej was a woman. I am straight but was aroused in a major way by this woman who just might be a guy. So I guess I could be a lesbian. Hmm I definitely now think I am a lesbian…..Wow….but I guess that is OK too.
That’s a beautiful thing, Juliet, to allow yourself to just feel what you feel without needing it to fit into any boxes. Thanks for the juicy comment!
Badass. And well written.
It’s a war worth winning! Appreciating people for what they are, not what you want them to be!