What is keeping you from your greatest potential?


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What is keeping you from your greatest potential?

I get asked a lot, “How can I live a more authentic life?”  I’d like to guide you through a short thought experiment that will open the door to finding your own truth about this.  Be someplace where you can be deep in thought for about 300 seconds. You will need a piece of paper and a pen or an electronic device you keep notes in.

Imagine moving to a new city of your choosing via time machine. Pretend that it’s 1983 and social media doesn’t exist, so, your reputation does not follow you to this new home. Nobody knows who you are and nobody has any expectations of you, yet. You could be the town bum or a visiting celebrity, for all they know. You have a completely clean slate in every way.

  • How would you show up?
  • Would you change your name?
  • What work would you seek out?
  • Who would you date?
  • How would you vote?
  • What social circles would you want to be in?
  • Would you change anything about your appearance?
  • Would you act differently?
  • How would you introduce yourself at parties?
  • What kind of reputation would you seek to create for yourself?

Close your eyes and really sink into this imagination of yourself for a few minutes until all of your senses are involved.

  • What does this reality smell like?
  • What sensations come into contact with your skin in this version of reality?
  • What sights do you see on a regular basis?
  • What does it sound like? Do you commonly hear ocean waves? Aircraft? Galloping horses? Children playing?
  • What flavors cross your palate in this version of life? (mine involves a lot of mango salsa)
  • For you ambitious dreamers…. what does your sixth sense feel like in this new reality? What spiritual knowings and experiences do you have as this version of you?

This will start to feel really good. Once you can hear, smell, touch, see, and even taste this alternate reality, sit back and play in it for another few moments.  Let your heat, mind, and soul marinate in the imaginations of your senses.



Apparently you’ve had enough and have opened your eyes again. Welcome back!
Compare the alternate version of reality you just imagined.  What are the factors that are keeping you from showing up in THIS world, like that, today? Name them. Write them down. Seriously. Right now. There’s something about seeing them as words in front of your eyes that will be good for your soul.
Look at your list of reasons.
These are the things holding you back from your deepest authenticity, and your full power as a human being. I know they are all rooted in good intentions, but that’s not the point. Do not judge the reasons. They are not good or bad, they just ARE.  Just stare them in the eyes.  I’m not suggesting that you eject all of these things from your life today; quite the opposite. Maintain your status quo for now. Today it will be sufficient to become very honest about the role they play in your life. Does it make you uncomfortable to see some of these things on the page?
It should – and that’s totally okay.

Before today, you had secret, unspoken agreements with them to make compromises in your life. I promise you this – even if you decide to keep some of these things in your life, your relationship to these things will only get better as you become brutally honest about the little deals you’ve made with them.  No more secret deals in your soul.
Pull all those contracts up and put them on the table under a good lamp. Read them. Brush up on the terms of those deals. Aside from freak accidents, everything that’s in your life right now is something you’ve either signed up for, or allowed to stay.  Give yourself permission to feel sad, angry, awkward, or whatever. Just get comfortable with the discomfort of knowing these are the things you’ve allowed to stand between you, and the fullest, most glorious, powerful version of you. This will probably take some time.
Maybe a few days, months, years, even.
That’s the first step in moving into your full authenticity, your full majestic power.
You are a God in embryo.
Don’t think there’s anything righteous about playing small –
Your potential is massive beyond your comprehension and that’s the final truth of the matter.
I hope you’ll give yourself permission to start looking toward that light –
Your own light.
That’s all for today.

Come back soon and we’ll discuss more.

much love –

Paul Duane


If this is a topic you are keenly interested in, consider joining my email list. I’m in the process of writing a book about this topic. The email list is the best way to stay in the loop with updates on the book and related events.

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Think about the important relationships in your life… work, family, romantic, friends…  Do you ever feel like you are walking on eggshells with any of them?

Do you ever feel like you are in a weird cycle of approval / disapproval?

Have you abandoned your friends because “they really aren’t that good for you”?

Do you have someone in your life that claims to see “your true potential” but then also manages to make you feel pretty awful about yourself?

You might be dealing with someone who suffers from one of the “Cluster B” personality disorders: Narcissistic, Histrionic, Borderline, or Antisocial personality disorder.  On today’s show, therapist Scott Carter gives us the rundown on this roller coaster ride.

Connect with Scott Carter at www.SaltCityCounseling.com  or  385.202.4174

Jake from TLC’s Single Dad Seeking

We’ve all tried Internet dating….  but have you ever had a camera crew follow you around as you go on the actual dates?  TLC has a new reality show, Single Dad Seeking, which chronicles the attempts of several single fathers to find love again.  One of the stars of the show, Jake Cope, joins me (and Louie Bonaciacci), in the studio today to talk about his experience.

One of the early plot lines of the show centers around Jake leaving Ami home alone and staying out all night without telling her what was going on. They built up a lot of mystery as to what Jake was doing out all night long.  I know exactly what he was doing, because I was with him. On today’s episode, we reveal the truth.

Check out the teaser clip from the night Jake stayed out all night with my friends and I, leaving his TV girlfriend, Ami, home alone.


Connect with Jake Cope:



Connect with Louie Bonaciacci:




Photos from my shoot with Jake:

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Sunny Strasburg

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My show is all about exploring the freedom of the individual. One of the main venues of personal freedom is human relationships. I love having therapists on the show to talk shop. On today’s show, one of my favorite therapists, Sunny Strasburg, joins us to talk about dating, love, and sex! It’s a good one.




Thoughts. Ideas. Weirdness from my brain, delivered into your mailbox: In your mail box:




Baya Voce: relationship curator

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What a great show today!  Relationship curator and former cast member of MTV’s The Real World, Baya Voce, joined me in the studio for a great conversation.  We talked about why women often end up wearing the pants in relationships, what to do when you meet a girl that only hangs out with guys, and Baya got me talking about my very unique semi-cross dressing style and how it affects my dating life.
Baya Voce and Paul Duane

Baya teaches a class called Seduction 101:  it’s the ultimate girls night out.  Visit http://bayavoce.com/#speaking for details and registration.  27 Aug 7 – 10pm at the Bra Bar Boutique in Salt Lake City.