Scott Carter on Borderline, Narcissistic, Histrionic & Antisocial Personality Disorders

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Scott Carter on Borderline, Narcissistic, Histrionic & Antisocial Personality Disorders

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Think about the important relationships in your life… work, family, romantic, friends…  Do you ever feel like you are walking on eggshells with any of them?

Do you ever feel like you are in a weird cycle of approval / disapproval?

Have you abandoned your friends because “they really aren’t that good for you”?

Do you have someone in your life that claims to see “your true potential” but then also manages to make you feel pretty awful about yourself?

You might be dealing with someone who suffers from one of the “Cluster B” personality disorders: Narcissistic, Histrionic, Borderline, or Antisocial personality disorder.  On today’s show, therapist Scott Carter gives us the rundown on this roller coaster ride.

Connect with Scott Carter at www.SaltCityCounseling.com  or  385.202.4174

Sunny Strasburg

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My show is all about exploring the freedom of the individual. One of the main venues of personal freedom is human relationships. I love having therapists on the show to talk shop. On today’s show, one of my favorite therapists, Sunny Strasburg, joins us to talk about dating, love, and sex! It’s a good one.

http://www.sunnystrasburgtherapy.com/

https://www.gottman.com

sunnys@jps.net

Thoughts. Ideas. Weirdness from my brain, delivered into your mailbox: In your mail box:

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#GroupTherapyWed : Scott Carter : Sexual Predators

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It’s Group Therapy Wednesday with Scott Carter from Salt City Counselling and Consultation. Today’s topic is sexual predation. Scott is an expert in working with troubled teens, who so often are plagued by this pernicious social cancer.  Sexual abuse and conversations about it have been so hard to have in the past. We endeavor to shed some light on it and ecourage a more open dialogue about this problem that affects such a huge portion of society.  If you, or someone you love needs help dealing with the effects of sexual predation, give Scott a call for a free consultation.

Salt City Counselling and Consultation

http://saltcitycounseling.com      385.202.4174

Links referred to during the show:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/19/trey-radel-drug-testing_n_4305348.html

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/apr/28/north-dakota-politician-randy-boehning-outed-grindr-nude-photos

 

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Scott Carter on Borderline Personality Disorder

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Scott Carter, CMHC, founder of Salt City Counseling, joined me on the show today to discuss a quiet problem that evades many men: recovering from a relationship where Borderline Personality Disorder had been present.

To participate in Scott’s specialized group therapy for those dealing with a Borderline loved one, contact him:

http://saltcitycounseling.com/

385.202.4174

Check out these two interviews, one with a woman who recovered from Borderline, and one with her husband, explaining what it’s like to be married to a person with BPD.

For those that are interested in attending the “No More Mr Nice Guy” group,  learn more here:

No More Mr. Nice Guy – Salt Lake City

Salt Lake City, UT
711 Integrated Males

Nice Guys have been conditioned to believe that if they are “good” and do everything “right”, they will be loved, get their needs met, and have a smooth life. Sound too good t…

Check out this Meetup Group →

Listen to the show ↓

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Group Therapy Wed: Sunny Strasburg and the Four Horsemen of Relationship Apocalypse

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Today’s edition of Group Therapy on The Paul Duane Show featured Marriage & Family Therapist Sunny Strasburg.  Sunny has one foot firmly in Jung’s theories, and another firmly in Gottman’s empirically driven, groundbreaking work on relationships.  It’s fascinating to talk with someone who operates effortlessly and simultaneously from such different paradigms. Sunny mentioned something about one aspect of relationships that really got my gears turning: Witnessing.

The need for “witness”.  The need to look into the eyes of another, and to see that knowing depth in their eyes that says, “I see you. I acknowledge you as a human, being right here, right now. Your experience just went from being something theoretical in your head, to something real because now a separate being from you – I – am in on it.  You’ve become something more than a brain-in-a-bottle. My witness of you, in this moment, has made you real. It’s the observer effect. It’s science, it’s quantum physics, it’s poetry, it’s love – the Holy Grail.

It is not good for man to be alone, they say…

According to Sunny, it’s essential for parents to make this connection with their kids when they are small.  An insufficiency in this realm tends to sow seeds for some kind of attachment disorder in adulthood. Ever meet someone that has problems with intimacy? You can bet that their parents fucked up this stage of parenting for one reason or another.

We spent some time talking about the “Four Horsemen Of The Relationship Apocolypse”, a phrase coined by John Gottman. These 4 phenomenon are the harbingers of relationship demise. Gottman can predict with 94% accuracy which relationships will survive and which will perish, depending on the prevalance of the following:

  • Criticism: stating one’s complaints as a defect in one’s partner’s personality, i.e., giving the partner negative trait attributions. Example: “You always talk about yourself. You are so selfish.”
  • Contempt: statements that come from a relative position of superiority. Contempt is the greatest predictor of divorce and must be eliminated. Example: “You’re an idiot.”
  • Defensiveness: self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victim-hood. Defensiveness wards off a perceived attack. Example: “It’s not my fault that we’re always late; it’s your fault.”
  • Stonewalling: emotional withdrawal from interaction. Example: The listener does not give the speaker the usual nonverbal signals that the listener is “tracking” the speaker.

Another number of interest: Couples that stay together display a certain ratio of positive interactions to negative ones – 7:1, to be exact. How are you doing in your relationship?

Visit Sunny’s website to learn more about booking an appointment:  www.sunnystrasburgtherapy.com

Learn more about John Gottman’s work here: www.gottman.com

 Listen to the show ↓

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Emotional Code Therapy with Cameo Haag

john-varvatos-brown-modern-leather-messenger-bag-product-1-16535353-1-115591609-normal_large_flex

Paul Duane’s goal baggage.

Emotion Code Therapist Cameo Haag joined me in the studio to explain more about this new and interesting mode of energy work.  Here’s the back story: A few weeks ago, a friend who is well acquainted with much of my emotional baggage suggested that I go see Cameo. She explained briefly how it works – and to be honest I was a bit skeptical. That being said, I’m pretty stoked to let go of some of this baggage, to downsize, and maybe fit it all into one compact, very stylish carry on bag (one by John Varvatos, ideally).  Skepticism aside, what are the potential downsides to an hour of therapy? None. Potential upsides? Hey, if it works – this could be huge.

Here’s the short story: I don’t know how exactly, but she zeroed in on some potent past emotions from my late teen years that haunt and effect me to this day. After the session, I spent the rest of the evening in a state of feeling very inspired, motiviated, and empowered to let go of the resentment and betrayal that was at the core of it all. I had an epiphany that allowed me to see this experience completely differently.  I became Obi Wan:

So nerdy. I know.  But the point is, I realized that what I THOUGHT was a victory by an adversary, actually put me in a position to have vastly more power and influence than I ever would have otherwise. So many of the amazing things in my life right now are directly because of those years of enmity between myself and this “adversary”.

At any rate – Cameo’s work had an effect on me. I’m going back to work on another piece of that baggage very soon. If you are interested in booking an appointment, you can reach her here:

Cameo Haag – Emotional Code Therapist

www.mindbodysoulglow.com

www.sexlessmarriagenomore.com

https://www.facebook.com/CameoHaag