Ask Me Anything July 2018

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Ask Me Anything July 2018


On this Ask Me Anything episode, I answer the following questions:

  • Do you like two listen to Miles Davis? If so, your favorite album?
  • Where do I get legs like yours? 
  • Do you ever get fully dressed,  or is it just the lower half? 
  • What do you know about being good at hearing feedback? 
  • What do you think about “I See Your Legs pantyhose? 
  • Do people still get runs in their nylons? If so, what do you do? 
  • How do you be comfortable in your own skin?
  • So why made you start wearing high heels? 
  • Do you prefer reinforced toe or sheer toe pantyhose? 
  • Is foot pain normal or do I just not know how to walk in heels? 
  • I’m regularly blamed as a cheater by my partner. How do I neutralize my partner’s accusation?
  • Why Do you you wear high heels? 
  • What do you do to relax or get rid of stress? 
  • Favorite TV shows? 
  • Why couldn’t God have just forgiven us without the human sacrifice of Jesus?
  • Top 3 bucket list items? 
  • If you could pick anywhere to live, where would it be? 
  • Do you ever hide your religious beliefs out of fear of social stigma?
  • What do you do when people start talking shit about you? 
  • Did you feel isolated once you embraced your true self and decided not to compromise on your integrity and authenticity?
  • Do you have a favorite book? 
  • How do I have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend while he still has feelings for his ex-wife?
  • Favorite food? 
  • How do you be interested in other people?

“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery–isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.” – Charles Bukowski

Want to ask me a question for the next AMA episode? Click here to submit your question. 

2.1 Duane Rides

Today is Father’s Day. I can’t think of anything I’d rather do than tell you for a moment about the the bad-assery of the OG Duane.  Some of you may know that Duane is not my last name, it’s my middle name, my father’s first name. I go by “Paul Duane” for a couple of reasons, one of which, is to pay tribute to my Dad with my work. 

It’s been nearly one year since my father passed away, and during this time, I’ve developed a profound appreciation for who he was.  

Death is like a photograph: it freezes a person in time, putting them on display to be examined in depth without the distraction of the movements of the current moment.  

Here are a few things my Dad has taught me, both while he was alive, and even in death:

Lesson 1:  

The sweet spot

“The way of the superior man is about giving. It’s about giving who you are to the world, and it’s about giving yourself more and more deeply to the world, to your woman, to your family, to everyone.”  – David Deida, “The Way Of The Superior Man”

My Dad silently but certainly  showed me one of the secrets of life that only superior men know:

There’s this sweet spot you can hit in life where one’s amusement and one’s service to the world become one in the same.  By living in his bliss, he was simply amusing himself AND bringing happiness to countless other people. 

My Dad was a real life Santa: he loved woodworking, and spent all of his free time making gifts for people.  Of the countless thousands of gifts he made over the years, he loved to make wooden toys. He loved to make children happy. My Dad has made innumerable wooden toys and sent them to schools, hospitals, nurseries, etc, around the world. He was like Santa and an Elf in one person. 

That’s some kind of superior man Zen you’ve got going on there, Dad. 

 You’ll see one of his toy trucks along with his photo in my Burning Man 2017 video around the 3:52 mark. 

Lesson 2: 

No fear, no guile, no regrets. Only gratitude. 

My Dad shouldn’t even be alive. Before I was born, he had a horrible motorcycle accident that left him severely speech disabled.  For all intents and purposes, he couldn’t speak.  His injuries changed the trajectory of his life and shaped everything about our family culture.   

“Your dad was always so grateful to even be alive. He knew his life was a gift”, my mom has often told me. 

My dad never looked that gift horse in the mouth. Not once. 

One afternoon I was driving my parents around town. A guy on a noisy Harley pulled up next to us. My Dad looked over at the big, loud motorcycle. His face lit up, a smile spread across his face and he nodded a few times, as if to say, 

“I’m fully aware of what a motorcycle did to me… and if I could get on that bike and ride away right now, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I regret NOTHING.”

Even though he actually was handicapped, he refused the label of “disabled” or “handicapped” at all times. He didn’t see himself that way. He had no shame. He loved his life. 

No fear.

No guile. 

No regrets. 

Only gratitude. 

In that intersection moment, a switch quietly flipped inside me: I KNEW, someday, I would get a bike and take up motorcycling.

The only person in my immediate and extended family who would approve of such a thing would be my Dad. Ironically, he was the only person that wasn’t absolutely terrified of them. 

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.” – Steve Jobs

Lesson 3: 

The Power of The Word

My father had a certain relationship with The Word. 

As a kid, he was fascinated with the technology of sending words over the airwaves – he was well known for building his own AM radios from scratch. As an adult, he became a HAM radio operator. Because he could’t speak, he learned Morse code. 

There are two sounds that will always represent life at home with Dad: the sounds of his saws I the woodshed, and the dit dit dah dah of morse code, emanating from his bedroom. 

 As a kid I was mystified at the way my Dad could communicate with people on the other side of the country in a series of rapid fire “dit-dit-dah-dit-dah-dah-dit-dit-dah-dah-dah-dit-dah” beeping sounds, which often emanated through the living room from his adjacent bedroom. 

One of my more distinct childhood memories: one day I was taking apart a broken old radio and he explained to me the the workings of AM (amplitude modulation) and FM (frequency modulation) radio.  It was a massive struggle to have simple conversations with him about simple things.  To this day I have no idea how he communicated these complex concepts to my kid brain, but he did. 

I never would have imagined that some day, I would make my life’s work in the world of words. 

Between my experiences as a daytime talk radio host, a podcaster, and comedian, my voice and my words have been broadcast via satellite, radio tower, cell phone, and internet to every corner of the planet.  

For whatever reason, The Word has called to me and I answered.  

Working with The Word forces me into self examination in a way no therapist could ever hope to. It is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. 

I see those dots, Steve. 

Whether or not there was some divine design in the placement of those dots is a topic for another day. Regardless, those dots sure do make a pretty picture. 

I’m in the middle of making more dots, this time placing them in front of me. 

Currently I’m preparing to take my podcast on the road via motorcycle.  I’ll do a series of long journeys, and will share the conversations and stories that ensue via podcast and written word . stories. 

My Dad made his gifts out of wood. I make mine with words. Creating words while on wheels is the best way I can think of to pay tribute to my father and to make good on whatever deal he made with God in order to have a family. 

Aside from that – it’s so much fun! 

I love conversations with fascinating people. 

If some string of words happens to make you me laugh along the way, all the better. 

This journey has begun – 

Not long after my Dad passed away last year, a dear friend, Cody, dropped off an old classic of a bike for me to fix up and take over – a 1979 Suzuki GS1000. 

It’s the most obvious thing in the world to me that I should be writing about this story as it unfolds. I have been. I’ve been writing chapters and publishing them in my blog. Every week when one comes out, I notify my readers via my email list (join the list here)  I’d love to share it with you. On the surface, this might look like a motorcycle story, but really, it’s a story about living with 

No fear.

No guile. 

No regrets. 

Only gratitude. 

My Dad, the O.G. Duane, was a walking embodiment of what Marianne Williamson taught:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Thank you, Dad. 

Let’s go ride. 

Much love –

Paul Duane

#DuaneRides

#SoulAnarchist

 

Want to read the stories as they unfold? sign up for the Soul Anarchist Diaries:

Former IRS attorney Mark Barnes

 

How do you write off gambling losses as a tax write-off? What’s the worst job in the world? Is taxation theft? Former IRS attorney Mark Barnes dishes out on what it’s like on the inside.

“The worst job on earth is to be the guy that’s collecting a [horse] semen sample.”

On the the legalities of writing off one’s gambling losses as a legit business expense:

“His religion, Feng Shui, was the offset to probability theory.” 

“If a judge feels bad for somebody, it’s a very difficult thing to win that case, no matter how right you are on the law.”

“When a judge feels bad for somebody, they can find a way tot get there, most of the time.” 

Q: Should you shed tears in the court room?

A: It depends on how realistic you can appear

 

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Sign up for the Soul Anarchist Diaries:

Morris Kunz: solving masculine dilemmas

Speaking of masculine dilemmas: I just finished reading THE TRUTH by Neil Strauss. This is one of the most fascinating journeys through traditional and non-traditional relationships (and sex addiction therapy!) that I’ve ever heard. I actually did HEAR it. I used Audible to listen to the book, which was narrated by the author, Neil Strauss, himself. This is by far the most entertaining, engaging way to digest a book. Get a free audiobook of your choice and a free 30 day trial of Audible by clicking on this banner. Enjoy!

Everyone wants good love. Fellas, there’s nothing like getting involved with a woman to reveal the places you need to grow in. Intimacy expert Morris Kunz shares some ideas on how men can grow and show up in their full power.

“Men, when your woman speaks to you, remember, it’s a message directly from God. Women – be nice.”  – Gary Acevedo

Nuggets of wisdom from Morris:

“The more loving we can be in EVERY conversation, the better results we have. I don’t care if you are doing business or whatever…”

“Be sweet to yourself”

“A woman will follow a man who is chasing something that is bigger than her.  Start dreaming again.”

“It’s about having fun and dancing with the ladies in our life.” 

Radical Intimacy Facebook Group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/168516880412002/

Ask Me Anything Q&A March 2018

  • How can I stop stressing over the judgement of other people?

  • Flowers: Practical gift or waste of money?

  • Is photography still an art form or is it less hip now that everyone can do it?

  • What is your dream motorcycle?

  • How can I find my own unique clothing style?

  • Do women like men that Crossdress? I get asked this question SO MUCH… I decided to do a video exclusively about it:

Watch the Facebook Live recording here:

 

An Attempt to Convert Brett Veinotte to Mormonism

If you like Brett Veinotte, there’s a decent chance you like Jordan Peterson. I just finished reading his book, 12 RULES FOR LIFE. Fascinating. Actually, I listened to it on Audible. I love listening to books, especially when the author does their own narration, (as Jordan does on this). You should try Audible. Get FREE 30 day trial and a free audiobook of your choice. Click this banner to get started, you’ll love it.

I suit up in my finest Crossdressing Mormon Anarchist attire, brush up on my Mormon Missionary discussions, and give Brett Veinotte (Host of School Sucks Podcast) a tour of Temple Square. My goal is to convert Brett to Mormonism.

 

“Are you sure you aren’t confusing this with Scientology?”

“It’s like the best of all the Abrahamic religions, rolled into one”

“It’s like something you’d see on The Sopranos”

VIDEO:

Follow Brett Veinottte / School Sucks Project:

http://schoolsucksproject.com

https://www.instagram.com/schoolsucksproject/

https://twitter.com/SchoolSucksShow

https://www.facebook.com/School-Sucks-Podcast-The-END-of-Public-Education-144639747999/

Get your bottle of Five Wives:

What made Jesus the Ultimate Ladies Man?

 

….According to my friends.

Timothy Smith, Kelly Boyce, Charlynn Hamaker, Marc Hanson, Steve Conlin, Jake Garn, Ashley Bracy, Richard Dutcher, Dr. Pam Gurley, Brandon Lee, Steve Urquhart, Patrick Williams, Bethany Schrader

We all suspect Jesus being a champion with the ladies… on today’s episode, 12 of my friends weigh in on what made him such a hit with women.

#360: Sensuality Expert Emanuela Fernandes

What does it mean to be sensual? Is sensuality the same as sexuality? What is the real cost of not having sensuality in my life? What can I do to be come more sensual? Sensuality expert and author of the book “The Stopover”, Emanuela Fernandes, shares some perspectives on the importance of being a sensual human. Memorable moments from the episode:

“Sensual identity in this day and age is something you have to get comfortable with. There are always going to be people who are going to criticize you for being over the top or overly sensual, overly sexual, overly fearless, or overly out there. People are going to label you as weird, or “out there”, or gay, or queer, or a lesbian. People perceive sensuality differently.” “There are other sensual pleasures like travel, and food, and sex, and connecting with another human being on a very deep almost celestial level that not all of us are blessed to have.” “For too many years I lived thinking about pleasing people. I deprived myself from indulging in sensual pleasures.” “We all think we know what we want in life, but the truth is, most of us do not. Most of us have no idea what we want from our lives. We don’t know if we want love, if we want to achieve different things in our lives, because we don’t have time to pause. Being engaged with all of our senses, being able to tune into our senses, to understand… “ “You’re still not going to please everyone. It’s about doing what makes you happy. It’s about connecting and figuring out what truly matters to you, and tuning out the voices from the outside. You are going to attract the people who are truly like minded. The people who are going to support you and love you.” “There’s always going to be that judgement. So for a while, I thought, ‘I do need to tone this down.’ You don’t really have to.  If this is really essential, if this is really something that gives you pleasure – wearing that perfume gives you that pleasure… If putting on your nylons gives you pleasure; Regardless of who you are – a man, or a woman…We are so stuck on gender specific.  Who said that nylon has to be gender specific? Who says that I can’t wear bad ass leather pants? This is my pleasure. This is what makes me happy. This is what tantalizes my senses. When I stopped caring so much about what people thought, I can’t tell you how many incredible men and women I’ve met.” “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson  Check out my interview with Marianne here.

Connect with Emanuela: Twitter.com/Sensual_Chef Facebook.com/Emanuela-Fernandes-307293539294082 Instagram.com/emanuela_daily_sensuality The Facebook LIVE recording session:

Get yourself a pair of the very sensual, luxurious Lucido 20 sheer tights by Cecilia de Rafael: Order a bottle of Five Wives Vodka: Get my newsletter, The Soul Anarchist Diaries:

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359: Nineveh Dinhah-Madsen: realizing your power

What does it mean to be an Alpha Female?

How do you break out of an abusive relationship?

What would it look like if women ran the world?

Am I inviting trouble at work by being too nice?

Journalist / anchor / magazine editor Nineveh Dinhah Madsen dishes out the wisdom she’s earned through her path from an ultra conservative home, an abusive relationship, to being a successful news anchor and enterpreneur.

NINEVEH:

“You have to be on the track of progression…  There’s so many people out there thinking they have to be perfect before they meet the perfect person. It’s about meeting the other person that’s on that track, too, and then combining, and going on that journey together and growing together.”

“Female empowerment is important, so is male empowerment.’

“Being an Alpha female is being confident and comfortable in who you are. Being strong, but not demeaning to the other sex to prove that you’re this big bad ass woman.”

Connect with Nineveh at:

HerMag.co

Instagram.com/hermagazine.co

Watch behind the scenes video of our recording session:

Order your bottle of Five Wives, Porter’s Fire, Underground, or Madam Pattirini Gin at HiTimeWine.net