Uh oh, Gordon’s not gonna like this!

coke

*** note: I PROMISED MYSELF that I was going to wait for at least 3 days before posting another church related blog post, but then I saw this news story, and I Could. Not. Resist.  :-D  It’s silly. It’s unsubstantial. It’s a non issue. I know. I also think it’s funny. ***

One fateful day, in the midst of my 2 year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I had to make a big change in my life.  Mike Wallace interviewed President Gordon B. Hinckley on 60 Minutes. It was seen as a robust and fair interview. One of the topics that was covered was the Word of Wisdom. One specific item of minutia that finds endless debates with mormons involves whether or not caffeinated soda is okay to drink:

 After this interview, I quit drinking my beloved Dr. Pepper for the rest of my mission. How could I, as an official representative of The Church, do something that the prophet said we don’t do, as faithful members?

Fast forward 16 years. [pullquote]One of my favorite things about Utah – you can tell what religion a person belongs to by the temperature of their caffeine.[/pullquote]

In an official response to an hour long report on Mormonism by NBC, The Church issued the following statement:

“Church revelation spelling out health practices (Doctrine and Covenants 89) does not mention the use of caffeine.  The Church’s health guidelines prohibit alcoholic drinks, smoking or chewing of tobacco, and “hot drinks” — taught by Church leaders to refer specifically to tea and coffee. “

But the funniest part really, was where they talked about BYU’s decision not to carry caffeinated soda on campus:

Part of the confusion stems from LDS Church-owned Brigham Young University, which neither sells nor serves caffeinated drinks. But BYU spokeswoman Carri Jenkins explains that is “not a university or church decision, but made by dining services, based on what our customers want.”  There has not “been a demand for it,” Jenkins said Thursday. “We are constantly evaluating what those needs and desires are.”  (see the entire SLC Trib story here)

 Uh…. what planet do you live on?  This is like saying that because there aren’t any drug dealers that stop in to re-stock everyone every day at the Betty Ford Center, this is evidence that there’s no interest in heroin or coke among the patients there.

Presidential hopeful Romney totally owes Mormon President Monson a solid.  Mitt can now breathe a little easier now that fizzy brown water can’t be used as ammunition against his deeply held convictions, as he seeks to become the leader of the free world.

 

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Paul Duane

Paul Duane is a photographer, writer, and talk show host based in Salt Lake City, Utah.

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