Open letter to an awesome girl

So, let’s say you are a beautiful, interesting girl.  Let’s say we just met.

Let’s say that we have a definite attraction between us.

Let’s also say that, although the attraction exists, I can see that we don’t have congruent long term goals / values.

Let’s say that we feel like getting in each others pants.

What would you want me to say to you?

Would you want me to say, “Look, I’m very attracted to you, but I think it’s only fair to say that I know that this is not going to last very long?”

Or would you want me to just keep that to myself and not spoil the moment?

Would you want me to ignore my intuition, and “just see what happens”?

Let’s say that I don’t realize this until we’ve been on  or 9 dates…. and THEN I realize that we really don’t have a future, because we have goals / values  that are not well matched in the long run.

Should we have that 10th date?  Because in the present – there is every reason for us to see each other again. We laugh, we entertain each other, we are attracted to each other… we have good times.  And, the sex is very good.

What would you want me to do?

…because, I’m confused about it, too.

Some day, I’m going to meet a beautiful woman that is a wise, sexy, vibrant, radiant dynamic human being, one whose goals and values are totally congruent with mine, and I am going to fall in love with her.  I want to be single when that day comes.

I also believe in the power and importance of fully living in the present. Putting things off in the present “because of the future” can be a crutch.  There is a fine line between planning prudently for the future and living in fear in the present.

We are in each others presence, presently. How may we most fully live what this moment has to offer, while honoring one anothers long term path?

 

 

Paul Duane

Paul Duane is a photographer, writer, and talk show host based in Salt Lake City, Utah.

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